Squirrel etiquette

Check out "Dear Prudence" clipping from Slate. Related link is North American Defense against Squirrels (NADS).

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Nutty Neighbors - What to do when someone nearby is feeding stray animals.: "What to do when someone nearby is feeding stray animals.
Posted Thursday, Sept. 9, 2004, at 5:47 AM PT

Dear Prudence,
My upstairs neighbor in my fourplex apartment has started feeding a squirrel peanuts. I am not necessarily opposed to squirrels and, in fact, am sympathetic to the well-being of animals. I am also a vegetarian and attempt to relocate spiders rather than squashing them flat. However, I also have a dog whose fondest dream is to eat a squirrel. Without restraint, she would enjoy squirrel tartar on our front lawn regularly. The squirrel in question, made fat and friendly by a diet of peanuts, has started approaching me inquisitively when I walk my dog. Let me repeat this: While I have a squirrel-lusting dog straining at the leash, this squirrel hops toward me and acts as though I'm going to feed her. (She's a she. I checked.) Thus, I've done what any responsible dog owner would do: I've started either throwing water at the squirrel when I see her or running toward her menacingly and barking. (Yes, I realize the potential for humiliation is high.) A couple times the peanut-feeding neighbor has observed me doing this and given disapproving glances or muffled mutterings. Even though I explain myself (the squirrel-hungry dog, my desire for the squirrel's continued well-being, etc.), she doesn't seem to register what I'm saying and continues with the peanut-feeding. What do I do?
- Driven Squirrelly

Dear Driv,
You sound like a good person because, to Prudie, a squirrel is just a rat with good PR. But try this. Have a powwow, a squirrel summit, if you will, with the neighbor lady. Explain to her that not only is she raising the squirrel's fat intake, she is emboldening it to beg for food when, in fact, the animal should be hunting for and hiding its own nuts, as nature intended. Then clarify for her the conflicting interests of your dog and her squirrel. If you cannot convince her to end the handouts, then you'll have to continue throwing water and barking.